Made even harder when you live over 600 miles apart and his memorial service takes place during a deadly pandemic.
On July 18th I lost one of my very few close, nearly life-long friends to acute myeloid leukemia. Dennis Morgan and I became good friends beginning as freshmen in high school in Cut Bank, Montana and we’ve remained close in the intervening 60 years. As adults we didn’t see each other often because he lived in northern Montana and I lived in Salt Lake City. But we kept in touch and when we did see each other we instantly took up where we’d left off. It was always like that and I guess I presumed it always would be. Fate had other plans.
Because of the distance involved, my recovery from fairly recent back surgery and health considerations during the pandemic, I couldn’t attend his memorial service in Kalispell, MT four days ago so I haven’t had the closure I need. I’m hoping today’s blog post covering some of our history will help – a catharsis of sorts. For me they’re precious memories, even though some of them don’t shine the best light on either one of us. After all, in many of them we were high school kids in rough and tumble Montana in the 60’s. But those events are a part of what bonded us so they’re important to me.
- Dennis and I became close through other good friends common to both of us and through high school activities that we shared. We even amicably shared some girlfriends. Dennis eventually married Betty Ann, one of my high school sweethearts. And he dated Mary Lee, who would become my wife and Shannon’s mother.
- In our group of guys, beer on weekends was part of the itinerary if we could get it. And we usually could so it got us into trouble more than once. One occasion involved the Highway Patrol, a Justice of the Peace and Dennis falling off the end of a high school gym bleacher during a tournament basketball game, which knocked the breath out him right in front of the highway patrolman who had cited us for possession of alcohol as minors earlier that evening. Watching him, on his back as he struggled to catch his breath in front of that patrolman, was a sight to see.
- On one occasion Dennis, after drinking a little too much beer, tried to run down a young Pronghorn (we called them antelope) on foot! and capture it in a fence corner. Needless to say it didn’t end well, except for the Pronghorn.
- Dennis was a bit of a lady’s man. When we were high school seniors he asked me if I’d be OK with it if he asked my younger sister Mona out on a date. Mona was three years younger and I was very protective of her so I immediately put the kibosh on that idea. To Dennis’s credit, out of respect for me he never asked her out. Mona, on the other hand, never forgave me when she found out what I’d done.
Believe it or not, most of our activities back then didn’t involve beer. Living so close to Glacier National Park meant that we all loved to spend time in “the mountains” as we called it, so we made every excuse to visit the park. This is Dennis, throwing an ‘air kiss’ to Suzanne, another one of his girlfriends, on a late spring picnic to Glacier NP between our junior and senior years in high school.
Dennis graduated from college with a degree in engineering which he put to good use throughout his career. He had a well-deserved reputation for being able to fix anything and he had a passion for classic cars. I only saw Dennis and Betty Ann sporadically over the years, on occasions like visiting them during the one year they lived in California, or when they’d visit us in Utah and at high school reunions in Montana. But we never lost touch. Or our closeness.
The mountains in the background of the above photo are symbolic of Dennis’s life-long love of Glacier National Park and nearby Flathead Lake. After he retired in 2010 they bought a house on spectacular Flathead Lake and that’s where he lived until he died. I was always so incredibly jealous…
R.I.P. Dennis Morgan.
Ron
PS – Back to birds tomorrow, if I can find any. Today’s post is for Dennis. And for me.
Losing a good friend is always heart wrenching. I have lost a few. So sit down crack a beer, hoist it high to all the good times you two have had !! Privately celebrate his life !! Have a towel handy as you may need it and that is alright !!
May his memory be a blessing to all.
What a lovely tribute to Dennis! Thx for sharing Ron – brings back many memories of high school shenanigans! Thankfully I never drank beer – still don’t, that saved me from getting into some real trouble LOL. How wonderful to have a dear friend for almost your whole life. That is very special.
I am so sorry for your loss and the fact that you couldn’t go to his service. This post is a wonderful tribute to your friend.
My condolences, Ron. Friends like Dennis are true gifts in life. I loved reading of your antics and I hope that your memories bring you comfort in the days ahead. ❤️
Just saw this. I got so many smiles from your memories. Especially the falling off the bleachers. Thank you for sharing him with us.
I hope you did find some closure with this. I’m sure he gets why you couldn’t make it. Gentle hugs.
My sincere condolences to you Ron. You wrote a very nice tribute to your friend.
Very sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing. I think many of us have now begun to experience losses brought on by simply getting older, and your story, at least to me, brought back some memories of friends of mine as well. Yours was a fitting tribute to a great friend. Thank you for inviting us in.
I want you all to know how much I appreciate all of your kind and supportive comments.
I’m glad I published this post (I almost didn’t). I spent all morning out shooting and during the long drive there and back I had a lot of time to just think. Today’s post allowed me to honor Dennis in the best way I could, given the situation. That’s already giving me some comfort and closure.
What a treasure Dennis was. And what a lovely tribute to him. I met my oldest (length of friendship) in 1965 (or 1964?). She lives in Los Angeles, which isn’t far in miles but traffic makes it far in time. The pandemic and a joint work project got us started in Zoom, so we now “see” each other more often thsn we had in decades. I can only imagine your excruciating loss of Dennis, who has known you since you were young and foolish. 💔
Your times with Dennis remind me of a saying of a plaque sitting on my bookshelf:
“A good friend will come and bail you out of jail… but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn… that was fun!”
Dennis sounded like a true friend.
That quote was perfect, Kent!
Yes, Ron! I enjoyed it also. How fortunate we are to have true friends! My condolences and appreciation. Somehow through photos and words I’ve felt a friendship growing…unusual as we’ve never met in person and probably won’t. Best wishes to you, Mary
It is a lovely tribute. I am sorry for the loss of an old friend. I just had the conversation with my friend who was in town for her step-sisters funeral that we are at the age when we are losing parents, friends and siblings. Makes you value even more the time spent with the survivors.
I am so sorry. Those friendships you can pick up where you left despite the intervening years are so very precious. As you know.
A beautiful tribute to a great friend … I know his family and other friends will appreciate your words. As I’m sure writing them has helped ease some of your pain of this loss. 🥺
What a beautiful tribute to a deep and abiding friendship with a precious friend. We send our condolences to you and to his Betty Ann and his friends and family.
Your loss of him to AML is particularly poignant because Dan was lucky (if you can ever call having leukemia lucky) to have been dealt the hand of a survivable kind if one can manage to survive the roughest chemo.
Be gentle with yourselves as you manage your way through the grief of the loss of such a dear compatriot.
Thank you for honoring a lovely human and for your authenticity. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy your blog so much.
“and for your authenticity”
That part of your comment really caught my eye, Kellie. Sometimes I worry that I reveal too much in my personal posts. Your comment helped to reassure me.
I see a life well lived in that first image of Dennis. Losing anyone is tough but when it’s someone you’ve known so long, and shared so much with, it’s even harder. My thoughts go out to you, Betty Ann, and others who loved him. I hope getting back out in the field brings you some moments of joy during what will be a stretch of sadness.
Loss is inevitable unless you go first. That doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sorry for your loss.
When I arrived at the breakfast table today, there was a note from my husband. It told me of the death of Ed, someone I shared a bed with about 50 years ago… of course it was winter, well below zero, we were fully clothed (and then some) in an unheated house. With us were a dozen or more high school survival course students that we were accompanying on a trip over the mountains between Winter Park and Silverthorne, CO. The students were on cross country skis or snow shoes. Before the course, many of them had no experience with this sort of travel. We all spent the next night exhausted but warm in individual tents high in the (super-cold) mountains.
Ed and I were only close during the planning and execution of that trip. There was a third teacher involved, but he caught pneumonia, and was unable to do the mountain trip. Ed was an amazing person, with skills, work, personality and accomplishments well beyond any of mine.. My loss had more to do with the realization such memories will not be formed in the future, as I’m now quite old. It was not at all the kind of loss you are experiencing. My grief is also for the end we all face, and the world’s loss of a gifted and gifting person. That note triggered these memories just before reading your blog.
Ron, I am so sorry for this sad event. I can relate very keenly. I have lost two of my three life-long friends. I know just what you mean when you pick up a conversation as if time had not passed. With one of my friends, my wife and I with he and his wife took a 6-week trip to Australia. On Thanksgiving Day, we were eating at an outdoor restaurant near Cairns, and we realized that literally an entire professional career had gone by since the 4 of us ate together. That elapsed time just didn’t factor in at all. Time is a very strange thing. I just hope that the Grief will be short and the memories long. Condolences to you, my virtual friend.
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved friend. What wonderful memories you have from your friendship.
Take Care,
Kaye
The dangerous, crazy, stupid things we did all those years ago. We wouldn’t have had it any other way. And to have someone all these years who was there with you, now gone. I smile and ache with you for your memories and your loss.
Here’s to lifelong love–to deep friendship, to love of living things, to love
of magnificent mountains. You and Dennis were much richer in love than
most human beings ever will be……I’m happy for you both, and glad that
you had each other for good long lives– wealthy ones in all that counts
as true riches.
You have my sympathy, Ron – lifelong friends are a treasure and VERY hard to lose. Leaves a hole in us besides reminding us of our “getting closer” every year. Hope this does help with closure tho I suspect that will take awhile and, perhaps a visit “home” at some point.
Dennis looks like a fun guy to have been friends with. Always sad when your friends go one by one over the years. I think posting this will help you with closure. Good memories will always stay with you and your friendship with Dennis is obviously a very good memory. We have one woman who now lives in Delaware who updates the members of our class of 1956 whenever another old classmates passes on.
I am sorry for your loss, I understand the depth of your friendship having lost a close high school friend to cancer several years ago ❤️ A nice tribute to Dennis May he RIP
So sorry Ronnie. It is hard to see our good friends go. I loved reading your heartfelt memories.
Losing a life long friend is inevitable…and hurts so much. Thanks for sharing these heartfelt memories.
A well-written tribute to an good old friend with a beautiful smile.
I’m glad you have this forum in which you can honor a friend whom you valued so deeply. There’s a particular poignance in forging a friendship in teen years, when one thinks one is invincible, and that death always happens to “other people“. Because ultimately, to remain good friends, we need to acknowledge that which makes us vulnerable, and bear witness to life‘s inevitable disappointments.
Your memories of your good friend will continue to catch the light and visit the shadows as the power of you love and good friendship sustain you in this time of solitude and reflection.
I’m sorry for your loss, Ron. Thanks for sharing a bit of Dennis with us. 😕