Sorry, no birds today. Only a side dish for a bird.
Have you ever noticed that Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce cans are labeled upside down? There’s a reason for that and an alternative solution to the problem they’re trying to solve that I think is better. And more fun, especially if you have a corkscrew like mine.
Late yesterday afternoon I got a hilarious voicemail from Dennis, one of my best friends in high school and we remain very good friends today. Dennis is a lucky guy for at least two reasons – he lives on the shore of Montana’s beautiful Flathead Lake and he’s married to Betty Ann, one of my old high school sweethearts. When he made the call Dennis was stuck in bumper to bumper, pre-Thanksgiving traffic. He has no more patience with traffic than I do (which is saying a lot) and the vehicle in front of him was from Utah, both of which made him think of me so he gave me a call to “keep him from going ballistic”.
I missed his call but part of his voicemail went something like this. To say he was agitated is an understatement:
“I’m on a mission to buy a can of cranberries for Betty Ann but I’m stuck in traffic and do you think there’s a can of f****** cranberry sauce to be had in the entire f****** Flathead Valley? No, there’s not! So I’m going to meet my brother Tom at a local watering hole and have a stiff one before I go home to Betty Ann emptyhanded”.
That call from Dennis made my day. And reminded me of a tip about serving canned cranberry sauce that I thought I’d pass on to my blog followers.
Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce, both whole berry and regular sauce, have the labels on upside down by design. The actual top of the can, the only part that a can opener will work on, is upside down relative to the label. You have to turn the label upside down to get the can opener to work on the “top”.
Ocean Spray does that deliberately so that folks can get the contents of the can out in one big slick “log” rather than having to dig the contents out in chunks with a spoon. It’s complicated and a bit tricky but the process recommended by Ocean Spray is fully explained in this recent CNN article.
But years ago I thought of a better, faster way.
I open the top (bottom?) of the can as Ocean Spray intended.
Then I turn it over in the serving dish (I inherited this old-timey dish from my mother) and punch a hole in the other side with my handy-dandy (and randy) wine corkscrew. The hole breaks the vacuum inside the can so its contents can…
slide out in one continuous log, slick as a whistle. My corkscrew looks proud of his accomplishment, don’t you think?
Apparently lots of folks like to serve it like this but I think it looks obviously canned and sort of cheap so…
I stir it up so it more closely resembles home-stewed cranberries. Personally, I think canned is as tasty as home-stewed.
My method is quicker and slicker, doesn’t dirty a spoon and it’s more fun, with an elementary physics lesson about vacuums built in, so I thought I’d pass it along.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Ron
Notes:
- Pre-apologies to anyone offended by my corkscrew. But I intended this to be a documentary lesson on how I open cans of cranberry sauce and that’s how I do it. Besides, I love that little guy. I find him… inspirational.
- “My” method works even better on super-messy canned refried beans.
My husband brought that very same corkscrew (well, a twin anyway) into our home. I still giggle every time I see it. This was a fun post, professor!
Glad you had a good thanksgiving. I just realized we forgot the cranberry sauce yesterday. So I’ll have to eat a whole can by myself which is no problem. I use the jab the bottom of the can with a can punch and then open the other side. Right now I have a red bellied woodpecker at my suet cake so I’m happy!
genius!!
My mother, who hates to cook, also insists on making everything, so I’ve never had canned cranberry sauce; i will buy some and try it; both boys love cranberries
Dudley, my Good Friend. Thank you for letting me rant yesterday. Everything turned out fine. After checking every major grocery store in the big city of Kalispell, I found BA’s favorite Ocean Spray cranberry sauce at a little grocery store in Lakeside (a little town on the shores of Flathead). And it did help when I stopped at the Short Branch bar in Lakeside for a couple of stiff ones with my brother Tom and some of the locals.
Have a great Thanksgiving.
BTW your cork screw is great!!!!!!!!!!!
Dennis, thanks for posting more info about how things tuned out.
I have the same can currently chillin’ in the fridge. Unfortunately, I do not possess such a “gifted” corkscrew (definitely having some corkscrew envy), but I do have a pretty slick churchkey with the necessary appendage for going where no man has gone before, vis a vis the can. (Picked it up at a CTA meeting — wonder why a teachers’ union would hand out a tool to help us access alcoholic beverages, bless them. 😂)
And I’m thankful every day for you, your blog, and the wonderful bird-loving (and bird-adjacent-loving) community you’ve built here!
Ha, “corkscrew envy”. Perfect, Marty – just perfect.
UEA and SLTA meetings – another thing I don’t miss about teaching. Although there are some things I do miss.
Dudley, my good friend. Sorry I went Ballistic yesterday on my cranberry rant.
As you well know from our early days in Cut Bank, my nickname was Mad Dog. And yes, I appreciate your “humor” with the corkscrew. You still are a “Piece of Work”!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a great Thanksgiving.
“Sorry I went Ballistic yesterday on my cranberry rant”
Don’t be sorry, Dennis. I’m glad you did. As I told you on the phone, I’m saving that voicemail so I can listen to it every time I need a pick-me up!
Everyone else seemed to call you Mad Dog back then but I usually just called you Morg. Geez, that was nearly 55 years ago! Can you believe it.
Dennis, you, like Ron, definitely sound like someone I would have loved to know back in high school! 🙂
And, as someone who has also fought traffic to haul my ass to a multitude of supermarkets looking for one particular “holy grail” item and has had to return home defeated, I totally get it — all of it!
Funny and Happy Thanksgiving to you. Wish I I bought the canned cranberry sauce. My homemade version is way too juicy.
Thanks, Deedee. It’s been a while since I made it from ‘scratch’ but I don’t remember it being too juicy.
Happy Thanksgiving my very old friend!
Around here (great minds think alike), I use a regular can opener
(churchkey) and punch a hole with the pointy end. I wouldn’t take
any chances with such a fine wine cork unscrewer…..
Andy, it makes me wince every time I slam the business end of his ‘tool’ into a can for fear I’ll break something very important. But he’s a tough little feller, all of him…
Very entertaining post today. Dennis sounds like my kinda guy. Down to earth and cussin’ up a storm. You should send him a corkscrew and a can of Ocean Spray for x-mas. I have “half- homemade” cranberry sauce form my local co-op deli. It will go great with the lentil loaf. Gobble gobble and happy Thanksgiving.
Lyle, I talked to both Dennis and Betty Ann on the phone just a few minutes ago. Reminded me of how much I miss seeing them both.
You and your tofu and lentils! About 300 parts cranberries to 1 part lentil loaf sounds like a mixture I might be able to actually swallow. And keep down… 🙂
No bird pics but I must say, today’s post does NOT disappoint! From your friend’s phone message (here in SoCal I’m thinking, “Traffic in the Flathead Valley? Hah!!”) to that outrageous (but oh so clever) corkscrew to the comments from all your FP fans (who are truly bright lights in the internet world), I can’t remember when I’ve been so entertained by a blog! And I’m thankful for all of it, so Happy Thanksgiving, Ron, to you and your many fans!
I enjoyed reading your comment very much, Chris.
The Flathead Valley isn’t like it used to be. Lots of development and lots of “big money” folks (including celebrities) moving in so things have changed. And not for the better.
Yes, I’m sure many of my brethren have “californicated” Montana (as Coloradans used to call it on bumper stickers when I moved to Denver in the early 80s, not that it stopped me) … my apologies for their ruin of your landscape! 🙄
Chris, I hear you on SoCal traffic! 🍻
And why I go *nowhere* near my car til at least the Saturday after T-day! 😂
Hah!! Very funny, Ron. And clever word smithing. My husband was about to do the same thing last night with a can of refried beans. He is envious of your ‘awl’. Tsk. Guys and their tools. Are you sure you weren’t sampling the ‘sauce’ before you wrote this?
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
“And clever word smithing”
Kathryn, knowing my tendencies I had to be very careful in that regard! 🙂
It was a fun blog. I too use fresh. I always have a few bags of fresh berries frozen for year round cooking. We have postponed our celebrations for a week. Jon picked up a cold most likely on our travels. We wanted to make sure it wasn’t covid. It was hard to find an opening at a testing site with the holiday. He came back negative and with Haley working weekends again we decided to put if off til a Monday, glad the Turkey did not defrost! I will make a nice roast for just us today and take some out to my parents and swing by Farmington Bay too.
Oops, Happy Thanksgiving and I am grateful for your blog and friendship!
I’m grateful for your friendship too, April. And for your devotion to birds. I know of no one who is more devoted to the welfare of birds than you my friend.
Please tell Jon that I hope he begins to feel much better very soon.
A post with some good info and a good laugh❗️ Now every time I go to use my boring wine opener I’ll think of yours😆
Enjoy your Thanksgiving Ron.
“Now every time I go to use my boring wine opener I’ll think of yours.”
And every time you do I hope you get another laugh out of the memory, Diana.
Smiling. Broadly.
I have never seen canned cranberry sauce here. Our Ocean Spray products come in a bottle. As an aside, I have never seen canned pumpkin either.
That’s interesting, EC. Canned cranberries and pumpkin are almost a staple around here, especially this time of year.
Too funny Ron. Margaret just told me the other day that Walmart here has no canned pumpkin. I would guess it would be the same for cranberries especially with all the warnings that supplies would be sparse this year. Probably sounds unAmerican, but years ago we switched from cranberries to Swedish Lingonberry preserves. Delicious.
Happy Thanksgiving.
“Swedish Lingonberry preserves”
An interesting choice with turkey, Everett. I have no idea how lingonberry preserves taste.
That corkscrew is hilarious. Happy Thanksgiving, Ron (and everyone)! 🙂
Same to you, Cathy.
As my family ( and I ) all insist on cranberry sauce “from scratch”, I never
would have needed your tip– BUT– what if you didn’t have such a singularly magnificent corkscrew to wield ? I’ll bet you buy the canned stuff just so you have a reason to use it !
“I’ll bet you buy the canned stuff just so you have a reason to use it !”
There could be some truth in that, Kris. I cook turkeys more often than most people, at least a half dozen times per year, and I always serve cranberries with it. And then there’s canned refried beans. I wonder if there’s any other canned goods it would be helpful with… 🙂
How hilarious! (cork screw). I laughed out loud.
Happy Thanksgiving and Take Care,
Kaye
“I laughed out loud”
Good. That was part of my intention with this post.
Happy Thanksgiving Ron! Am very thankful for you, your blog a d your followers. That is some corkscrew!!! Reminds me of the fertility art in Italy’s ancient ruins. Enjoy that cranberry sauce.
“That is some corkscrew!!!”
Indeed, Kathleen. I’m very fond of it and use it often, more often for canned goods than for opening wine bottles. I generally don’t drink wine but I do cook with it regularly.
The corkscrew is hilarious! 🙂 It does get the job done. I’ve always used a knife slid down the side of the open end with good results. Had read the article on CNN the other day…. 😉 Will remember the corkscrew thing tho mine isn’t near as entertaining as yours…. 😉
Dennis IS correct about the availability of whole cranberry sauce – fortunately, I had a couple of cans from earlier in the year that are still good and was able to fine a couple more at Walmart last week after no luck at Albertsons. I very much like Ocean Spray cranberry sauce and certainly wouldn’t go to the work of starting with the raw cranberries! 😉
I was lucky with my timing for town yesterday with traffic given the icy roads tho they did have the main roads clear in town – chemical liquid I’m guessing since it wasn’t ridiculously cold.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Thank you, Judy. My grocery store had plenty of canned cranberries but then I bought them a week ahead of time.
I make homemade cranberry sauce occasionally but I can’t tell a lot of difference so canned is fine with me.
this brought an early morning smile here in a bizarre part of Florida I’m visiting and helping out where “snowbirds” from the North bring their horses (high end show, dressage, eventing, etc., horses of many sorts) for winter training. What a world. Thanks, Ron.
Early morning smiles are always a good thing. Thanks, Mary.
How is it I have never seen that corkscrew, Ronnie? That is just so “you”!
Happy Thanksgiving. I’ve got buttery, rich brioche rolls ready to bake.
Sue, I’ve had it for decades. Can’t remember where I got it – possibly from Diane or maybe her brother Randy.
I’ll bet your house smells delicious right now. Or soon will.
Hilarious! I exchanged canned cranberry sauce for fresh cranberry relish several years ago, but I have friends who can use your tip. Now, if only I could find them an accompanying corkscrew. There’s a good pun hidden in there somewhere…
“There’s a good pun hidden in there somewhere”
Shoreacres, there’s lots of opportunities for ‘mischief’ in this post. I was tempted by several things that I had to resist…
Happy Thanksgiving, Ron! Very interesting tip… or should I say “tips”… ? What men might view as “inspirational”, women might rightly view with some consternation… But so long as his ‘partner’ is a wine cork or a can of cranberry sauce, let the festivities begin!
“so long as his ‘partner’ is a wine cork or a can of cranberry sauce, let the festivities begin!”
Well said, Alison.
Funny as heck!! I’m passing this one onto my geezer friends 🙂
Good! Thanks, Terri.
25 years ago a friend raised her eyebrows when I told her that I used canned cranberries and thus forever screwed our friendship. I give berry many thanks today to the clever people at Ocean Spray. (What a great name).