This one put print requests in a different light for me.
Readers know that I don’t promote print sales on my blog and I explained why in great detail in a post two years ago. It’s complicated but it all boils down to the headaches inherent in print sales, the large amount of work involved, the small amount of return and the fact that I’m retired and don’t want another ‘job’. As a result I’m always apprehensive about receiving print requests because I’m selective about which ones I’ll fill and I don’t like having to turn folks down.
So recently when I received an email via the Contact Page of my blog from a Mark Collins (I didn’t know Mark and he wasn’t a known blog follower) I was apprehensive once again. Most emails I get through the Contact Page are print requests and I didn’t want to have to explain once again why I wouldn’t fill the request of yet another disappointed potential customer.
But reading it set me back on my heels. I’ve included it below, with Mark’s permission.
“Good morning Ron. I recently discovered your blog and have been thoroughly enjoying viewing your past posts. One particular image stopped me in my tracks. Your September 2, 2014 post and photograph of the Red-tailed Hawk Take-off in a Sunflower Setting is stunning and moved me.
We lost our 20-year-old son Chris in March 2018 to suicide. He had battled anxiety and depression for approximately 3 years. Our family loves the outdoors, hiking and birds. Two weeks prior to Chris’s death, he was home on spring break and we were all out on a walk in a nearby wildlife refuge. We saw a red-tailed hawk fly overhead and Chris mentioned that he had seen a lot of hawks lately. The morning after his death as I took Chris’s dog out, a beautiful red-tailed hawk swooped down near us and glided past. It was remarkable. I went back in the house and told everyone about it. Every day after that for months, someone in our family was visited by a red-tailed hawk. We still see them often and it always warms our hearts.
We started a foundation after Chris’s death to fund mental health education programs in nearby schools. The logo we created for the foundation, which our daughter illustrated, of course includes a hawk. Sunflowers also became very symbolic for us. At Chris’s burial, many people left a sunflower at his grave. And again, in the days following, somehow we always saw a sunflower. So to see your beautiful photograph with both the hawk and sunflowers took my breath away. I would love to purchase a print of the photograph for my wife Beth and I, and one for each of Chris’s sisters, Jenna and Taylor. I’ve read your post regarding image sales and completely understand if you’d rather not sell a print. I’m not a known blog follower yet, but hopefully will be soon. I would be happy to send a check in advance so there’s no concern of a repeat of the Florida university situation. Let me know what you think. Either way, I am thoroughly enjoying your blog and beautiful photos. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us.
Happy holidays and take care, Mark”
This is the photo Mark was interested in.
To say that I was touched by his request is an understatement. Perhaps most of us have been devastated by the untimely death of a loved one but when suicide is involved the pain is usually infinitely worse. Years ago I lost my favorite uncle to suicide and it still hurts.
As a high school teacher for 33 years I saw some of the results of the anxiety and depression many teenagers experience which can affect the entire circle of family, friends and the educational community with emotional and professional investment in the young person involved. I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to lose your own child until I almost lost my only child Shannon a few years ago to a traumatic brain injury.
But Mark’s request rocked me on yet another level – it’s similarities to my own loss of my cousin and very best friend Ken Dudley.
I’ve told the story in more detail before but here are the basics. Ken and I grew up together on the adjoining Montana farms of our families. As an adult Ken owned and operated both farms and I went back often to visit. We both loved the Great Horned Owls that have been living in the old farm granaries for decades and Ken supported and even nurtured my attempts to photograph them with the best lens I could afford at the time, which was far from adequate.
Eventually Ken began to suffer from the inevitable effects of polycystic kidney disease (PKD) inherent in his family so he had a kidney transplant that was successful but he soon died from an unrelated cancer that no one knew he had at the time of the transplant.
Months later I received a ‘gift’ in the mail from Ken’s estate that allowed me to purchase my first (very expensive) birding lens and become the serious bird photographer that I wanted to be. Ken knew how frustrated I was by my inadequate (for birds) photo equipment and I’m convinced that his intention was for me to buy that lens that I’d often talked about.
He died in midwinter and seven months later about 20 of his family and closest friends gathered on the farm to give him the sendoff he deserved. A family friend and pilot volunteered his services and plane to spread Ken’s ashes over the farm. Looking at this photo it’s hard for me to believe, even to this day, that all of Ken we have left is that cloud of ashes falling from the plane. We can see Ken’s sister Teri’s arm hanging out of the plane as she released them over the farm.
Incidentally and appropriately that ancient granary visible at lower right is the primary granary the owls have been inhabiting for many years.
Yup, there’s sunflowers involved in Ken’s story too. After Ken’s ashes were spread on this farmland all of us threw sunflowers over the ashes as a way of honoring him and symbolizing our loss.
Ken’s appropriately named dog Havoc was lost without him but his sister Diana has a huge soft spot for animals and took him in. Havoc lived his life out comfortably and loved by Diana and her family.
As we were throwing the sunflowers I had to wonder if Havoc actually understood what was happening.
So both Ken’s loss and Mark’s loss of his son Chris involved birds (owls and hawks), a beloved dog and sunflowers. Chris was an all-state catcher in high school and that was my position too so for me that sealed the deal.
It goes without saying that I honored Mark’s print request. They were ordered two days ago and I suspect I’ll be less reluctant to honor many print requests in the future.
Ron
Note: Here’s a link to the Chris Collins Foundation established by Chris’s family to help fund mental health programs in schools. It includes the logo illustrated by Chris’s sister Jenna.
At the end of a horrific week for this country, I was so grateful to read this post about how people honor and care for each other, and where beauty and comfort can be found. These kindnesses we share with one another can be remarkable. You made a bigger difference than you might think!
“Thank you.” Once again for sharing… not only your photography & IT’s background information & settings… butt for your generosity.
To you & all… take care.
An amazing, moving and inspirational post. I cried for the Collins Family, for their kind son, Chris, and for your cousin, Ken. I cried for your beautiful photo and for the serendipitous impulse that led Mark to your blog of September 2, 2014. I cried for the grace of the Red Tailed Hawk taking off from a field of sunflowers. I cannot express how moved I am and how I love stories shared of messages from our loved ones who have passed. Ken’s generous gift eventually has brought us all together. Thank you for honoring Mark’s request and sharing the story with us. I will be making a donation to the Chris Collins Foundation as a memorial to the many friends and family that I have lost to suicide.
Dang it. I was already down. This made me weep. Yes n a good way though. I’m so touched by this whole post. And that sunflower hawk is stunning.
Such a touching story ❤️ This is one I’ll never forget. Thank you for sharing it.
I don’t think I will either, Diana.
Very moving Ron! brings tears to my eyes!
Charlotte Norton
Thank you, Charlotte.
❤️
Thanks, Nicole.
A beautiful touching post… had to explain to people why I’m blubbering at work. Wonderful photograph too!
Joanne, someone on Facebook just said they’re at a car dealership and she was afraid her tears would make everyone there think she’s nuts.
Not a dry eye in the house!!
Hope. Love. Connection. Acknowledgement. Spirit. Gratitude. Blessings.
Humbly thank you & Mark.
Thanks, Kathleen.
I was so up-lifted by Mark’s retelling of his son’s tragedy and the efforts he has made in remembrance. I can’t even imagine the pain and I’m not ashamed to admit that I was in tears half-way through his request.
Bless you and Mark and his family’s attempt to fill a void that will never quite fill and remember loved ones that have tragically passed.
Well said, Larry.
What a beautiful picture. And a moving story. Red-tails really do seem to remind us, at important moments, of life and light. Not falcons or eagles or owls or penguins. Just Red-tails.
Thank you, Sallie.
This is an uplifting story with great timing given the week’s other events.
I’d be surprised if you were not aware of the tales–mostly from indigenous people–of birds transporting the souls of the departed. I’ve read of owls in this role specifically and once had an experience with one that did much to convince me how this “legend” may have originated.
That unusual encounter–too long to re-tell here–also taught me there’s far more to our spiritual connection to the rest of the natural world–the entire global biome–than many modern humans are willing to concede.
Your striking photos, though, are another much needed and reassuring reminder.
Yes, I’ve heard some of those tales but I hadn’t thought of them in this context until you mentioned it. Thank you Jim.
Ron – thank you so much for sharing our story as well as your own very personal stories of loss. It is remarkable how connections like this happen seemingly out of nowhere. Then the stories unfold and the links between them grow. I don’t think it is just by chance.
Sharing these heartbreaking stories is difficult but I know it has an important and positive impact on people’s lives. Chris was an incredible young man whose love for his family and friends is unmatched. Amazingly, even as he struggled, Chris was a tremendous support to his friends who were struggling. With the foundation we are honoring and continuing Chris’s love and support of others. The programs the foundation funds in schools have been very successful and we will be adding schools each year.
A very heartfelt thank you to your readers for their kind words and very generous donations to the foundation. It means the world to me and my family.
Thank you Ron for this post, for agreeing to the print request, and for the joy you bring all of us with your writing and photography.
Gratefully,
Mark
Mark, writing this post and experiencing its aftereffects have been heartwarming to say the least – quite a contrast to my post of yesterday. I think many of us needed and appreciated something positive, this week especially.
Thanks for agreeing to allow me to make your print request public. To be honest I was hesitant to ask but I’m sure glad I did.
.
Ron ,I love your photos and followed your story of Shannon. But this request of Marks touched my soul. You are a good man and I’m proud to say we graduated from Cut Bank High School together. God bless you.
Marjorie, some good folks came out of good ol’ CBHS, didn’t they. And a few rascals… 🙂
Tears plopping on my keyboard…
Life can be hard even in the best circumstances.
Thanks for telling us both of these stories.
Thank you, Nina.
In the same moment this is heartbreakingly sad and incredibly beautiful. This is a full circle story, meaningful and profound. Thanks Ron. Oh my, there’s just so much to be appreciated.…
Thanks very much, Susan.
Thank you for sharing Chris’ story and Mark’s request as well as Ken’s story. I am having the same computer problems as EC right now. I’ve lost students, family, and friends to suicide, so it is a topic I carry close to my heart. I hope that my small donation to the CCF, when combined with the others this post has and will definitely inspire, can be used to save lives and spare those left behind the grief of such tragic loss.
Gentle hugs to all. 💗
Much appreciated, Marty. Perhaps most folks have been affected by suicide in some way but I suspect teachers have come into contact with it more often than most.
What a lovely story. I think you are blessed to be included in it, Ron. Take care! And thanks for the lovely photo.
Thank you, Ellen.
Wonderful blog this morning! Very touching in all aspects. Unfortunately suicide has touched too many. I am so sorry for Chris’s family’s tragic loss. I hope the family will continue to find solace in the visit of redtails and happy memories of Chris everytime they look at your photo.
I hope so too, April. These days we all need all the comforting thoughts we can get.
This is one of the most heartfelt posts you’ve written and I am nearly on the floor after reading all of it and looking briefly at the foundation link. I have to recover before I can do more. But I’m so pleased you agreed to sell the beautiful hawk & sunflower prints to the Collins family, I can totally understand their deep connection to both, as I had a similar experience with (of all things) a scrub jay after my mom passed. ♥️
Thanks, Chris. Interestingly I just returned to my computer after putting peanuts out for the scrub jay that visits my back yard. The only scrub jay I’ve EVER seen in my yard and he keeps coming back. He puts up quite a fuss if there are no peanuts out there.
You have put a tremendous amount of effort and love into your photography and shared it with all of us. I join all in saying thank you for your extraordinary kindness and bringing some solace to the family undergoing such a devastating loss.
Thanks very much, Kent.
And of COURSE you agreed to his request.
Mark’s story has brought revealed a fault in my PC. The screen is a little blurry now.
Suicide is as you and some of your readers know a cause very dear to my heart.
Thank you, and big thanks to Mark and his family. I love that they are reaching through their pain to help others.
And yes, add me to those who made a small donation.
EC, I know that your efforts in suicide prevention take an emotional toll on you and yet you continue to do it and have for a long time. The world needs more folks just like you.
Boy, this is sure a 180° from yesterday. And thank you for it. As Cathy Lemp did, I’m on my way over to to make a donation. Looks like I’ll have to wade through everyone’s tears to get there.☺️
You’re a good man, Lyle Anderson.
Moving stories and I think your response very kind and generous. Enjoy your comments on nature and sharing these personal moments.
Kind Regards, Richard
Thank you, Richard. Just to be clear, Mark is purchasing the prints.
Hi Ron. I was touched by this story. I applaud you for fulfilling the request, it was the kind thing to do and I am sure it will make a huge difference in the healing process of the grieving family. I think this proves that you can’t under estimate the power of the arts, photography included.
Thanks, Gary. Good point about the arts and photography.
A profound lesson of how what may be a small gesture can have deep meaning for so many others. Particularly in these trying times, let us all practice kindness whenever and wherever we can. Great Horned Owls have special meaning for me and I feel a connection to the one I grieve through seeing them. Luckily I have two out in my backyard right now.
Well said, Linda. Can you see how green I am over your backyard owls…
Their two fledglings hung out here for many months, as did the three Red-tailed Hawk fledglings from the nest next door. I was wishing I had your photography skills to capture some good images.
Ron, I’ve been reading your blog everyday for several years, although I rarely leave comments. Today I feel touched beyond belief and compelled to make comment. I guess I just wanted to express that there is good in all of us and we can have profound impacts on people we don’t even know, often in ways we aren’t even aware of. I have so enjoyed reading your thoughts and viewing your magnificent photo’s and one day aspire to attain the high photographic bar you have set with your work. I have no doubt in reading your post that Mark is grateful to have found your work and you have given him a gift that would be hard to top. Thank you for putting yourself, your blog and your photos out there.
“we can have profound impacts on people we don’t even know, often in ways we aren’t even aware of.”
That’s so very true. The longer I live the more I realize it. Thank you, David.
Ron, I am profoundly moved by everything I have read on your wonderful post today. My heart is full of gratitude for all of us who continue to risk our hearts to love, to extend ourselves, and to make the world a better place amidst the tragedies that hound us.
Thanks very much, Alison.
So many emotions this morning. Thank you, Ron, for such a heartfelt post, and thanks to Mark for sharing Chris’s story. For years I’ve thought of Laura Culley every time I see a RTHA- now, I imagine I’ll picture Chris soaring alongside. The parallels of Chris’s story with “Ken’s lens” made me smile. And started the waterworks! Thanks again for making my life richer, one blog post at a time.
Diane, your association of red-tails with Laura made me smile. I understand…
WOW! Wonderful stories on both sides! Brings tears but is also uplifting.💕
Good. Thank you, Judy.
Ron,
Thank you for sharing this story. I am moved to tears. I too have experienced these types of “messages” while in nature. It’s wonderful that you followed your heart.
I am new to your blog. I appreciate your sharing and educating via your blog.
Welcome to Feathered Photography, Gina. I hope you enjoy your experience here.
CH Spurgeon once said that birds are God’s messengers. These stories bring that to life in a beautiful way. I know that each of us has probably experienced timely moments of joy and comfort at the appearance of a feathered messenger. Thank you for these reminders to keep watch.
Kellie, I suspect you’re right about the joy and comfort birds bring to most of us who spend time here on Feathered Photography.
Hi Ron. I am Mark’s mom, Chris’s Nana, and am so moved and appreciative of your post this morning. We are a close family and we love sharing our red-tailed hawk and sunflower sightings…………they are surely messengers from Chris. Mark introduced me to your blog and I am in awe of your photos and narratives…….especially today’s. My heartfelt thanks for sharing Chris’s story and for honoring Mark’s request.
Now it’s my turn to be moved to the brink of tears. Thanks so much for your comment, Peg.
Dear Ron,
I too am moved to cry. It is sad and yet your kindness to honor a grieving family gives me hope that better times for this planet are coming.
Thank you,
Kaye
“Better times” – something we all desperately need. Thanks, Kaye.
Something wrong with my eyes as I type this… early morning leakage… must be the brightness of my monitor…
🙂
Life bless you, Ron. That’s the way each human being should take care of each other.
Thanks, Laval. If only it were so.
Wow Ron !!!!! What a way to start off the morning. I already had a few tears reading Mark Collins’s story and then the same with the story of the loss of your best friend.
Sad stories both, but a definite relief from the sordid world of American politics.
Your Red-tailed Hawk among the sunflowers is a beauty. I can see how it would be so meaningful to him and his family.
Teary eyed… I am a weeper. 😢
Mark, my eyes nearly leaked while I was composing this post.
Thank you, Everett. Yup, Mark’s print request had the same effect on me.
Thank you for responding so generously to Mark’s print requests. I think your post somehow captures how much our lives intersect and how we share many of the same experiences and symbols of hope and meaning. I was moved to make a small donation to the Chris Collins Foundation.
Thanks for your kindness, Cathy. And for your insightful comment about how much our lives can intersect.