Christmas means a lot to me but my take on this time of year is likely quite different from yours. This post will be personal and perhaps too honest (and too long) for some of my readers but I can’t see trying to be someone I’m not. At the beginning I may come across as the Christmas Grinch but stick with me if you can because you’ll see that’s really not the case.
The Christmas season has no religious significance or meaning for me. It just doesn’t. I thought I should get that out of the way at the get-go.
For me Christmas is all about family, dear friends, good will toward others and it’s a reminder to be moral and ethical in our interactions with people, critters and the good earth. And these days Christmas is more about memories, wonderful memories, than it is about anything else.
I’ll admit it. The commercialization of Christmas has taken some of the shine off of the season for me. Store shelves lined with Christmas trappings beginning in October, holiday TV ads beginning in early November and two entire months of endless Christmas music everywhere I go eventually numbed me to much of the enchantment of the season. Living as close as I do (too close) to one of the major shopping districts in all of Utah (Fashion Place Mall and environs) hasn’t helped in that regard. I’m probably particularly sensitive to Christmas music right now because they’ve been playing it endlessly for weeks now when I go to physical therapy twice a week. Along with myself and many of the other patients it drives all the therapists nuts but the office manager (Gabby) insists on it. She leaves for the day at 3:30 and by 3:31, without fail, the therapists have it turned off. Much too much of a good thing.
But a great deal of the shine of the Christmas season remains for me and much of it relates to my many wonderful holiday memories. I’ll include a few of them below.
- We weren’t poor while I was growing up but every last penny counted and sometimes we counted that last one twice. Christmas presents for us kids consisted of small trinkets in our stockings, a few clothes items (that never excited me), a present or two from our parents and often just one or two from Santa with one of them meant to be “the big one.” When I was 5 (1952) my “big one” was a red fire truck that I could ride on that just about blew my wee little mind because I was so excited. That excitement lasted for less than half an hour, until my toddler little sister Mona broke it beyond repair. That was it, there was no fixing it and there would be no replacement. At that age it took me much longer to forgive Mona than I care to admit. But now it’s one of my favorite memories of my dear little sister who died of cancer much, much too young.
- Blog followers have seen this photo before. My “big present” that Christmas had been this Lone Ranger outfit complete with holster, cap pistols and silver bullets. This cowboy outfit brings back an indelible memory for me. I knew that my mother hid many of our Christmas presents somewhere in the house, sometimes for weeks before the big morning. So before Christmas that year I went looking for them. One morning when she was distracted for quite a while I scoured every hidden nook and cranny in the house looking for them. You guessed it, I found my Lone Ranger outfit high in a closet in the sewing room and almost instantly I knew I’d made a mistake. Christmas was still several days away and I already knew what my “big one” was going to be. And I’d have to act like I was surprised on Christmas morning. Lesson learned, I never looked for my presents again. Not a single time.
- One year my big present was a sled which perfectly matched a big Christmas snowstorm. The Montana wind did its magic on all that snow to the point that the snowdrifts went above the roofline of our house so for days we’d climb up to the peak of the roof and sled down. Great fun for a 7 year old kid.
- As I got older of course Christmas became more about being with family and friends and the excitement of our children on Christmas morning than it was about Santa Claus and our own presents. My Christmas memories of family and especially my daughter Shannon during the holiday season are endless and wonderful.
- Eventually that excitement was inherited by the next generation and for me that meant my grandson Ryan. Shannon and family lived in Las Vegas so I’d often spend Christmas there. This photo means a lot to me, in part because I can see the excitement of Christmas morning in Ryan’s eyes. All these decades later I remember that excitement (and the sleepless night before Christmas) when I was his age.
- My Dad, Ryan’s great-grandfather, was both a farmer and a carpenter by trade and one year he made this marble game for Ryan for Christmas. Ryan spent endless hours playing with it and both he and Shannon remember it to this day. For me this photo has generational significance. It’s hard for me to believe that Ryan is now in his early 20’s.
- Over the years the kindness and thoughtfulness of many close friends during the Christmas season enhanced the holidays. By the early 90’s Shannon was married and I was divorced and living alone so I simply quit having Christmas trees. But one year my mother (living in California at the time) connived with my neighbors and good friends Neil and Vicky to remedy that situation. A few days before Christmas my doorbell rang and there stood Neil and Vicky with a small Christmas tree for me, complete with ornaments and decorations. Having any old Christmas tree meant little to me but having that one meant a lot because it represented the kindness and thoughtfulness of both friends and family. I’ll never forget the gesture.
- For many decades, whether we were in California, Montana or Utah for the holidays, my Dad and I had a Christmas tradition of wrapping our presents for family in either my garage or his wood shop late on Christmas Eve. We’d enjoy each other’s company, usually over a drink or a beer or a Christmas toddy during the process. That tradition continued when my parents lived with me for the last five years of their lives. Here we’re in my garage (he called it his wood shop – we teased each other endlessly over its proper designation) wrapping presents on Christmas Eve. The photo is grainy and of poor quality because it was taken in low light with a cheap camera but it’s one of my favorite family photos of all time. And no, the back of my head isn’t really that big – the effect is caused by the flash shadow.
Sadly I won’t be with family for the holidays this year because we’re all spread out between Colorado (younger sister Sheila), Florida (Ryan), Nevada (Shannon) and Utah (yours truly). But I have the memories and they’ll help to get me through the season. These days my typical Christmas morning tradition is to be out photographing birds because I usually have my shooting locations to myself but at 5 AM it isn’t looking like the weather is going to cooperate so it’ll likely be a quiet Christmas at home. And I’m just fine with that.
Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas no matter how you celebrate it and no matter what it means to you.
Please, let’s all remember to be kind to each other and to the earth and all of its inhabitants all year long. That’s the kind of Christmas tradition we can all live with.
Ron
The photo of you and your dad is wonderful. One of my few family candids shows my dad and his father standing outside Grandpa’s “work shed,” cigarettes in hand and bib overalls in place. As for those other childhood experiences, I looked fetching in my own cowgirl outfit, and knew how to use that six-shooter! When six-year-old me sneaked around until I found the Christmas gifts, it was such a traumatic event it still lingers: enough so that I wrote about it on my own blog. Learning to wait is important — especially if we turn into birders later in life!
One of the things I’ve learned is that the obnoxious elements of Christmas are pretty easily avoided. I haven’t set foot in a shopping mall for at least five years, and life without television or social media helps to preserve a sense of peacefulness. I’m not at all a Scrooge — I love Christmas, its message, and its trappings — but choosing how to celebrate is a gift, too. I’m sorry you weren’t able to get out because of weather, but weather changes, and all of nature’s gifts will still be there, waiting to be received.
“Learning to wait is important — especially if we turn into birders later in life”
Excellent observation, Shoreacres!
I’m like you in that I avoid malls (even though there’s one almost in my back yard) and the only TV I watch is news while I’m eating and documentaries (mostly PBS) online on my computer. I have a large TV in my living room that is never used.
Great pictures and memories, Ron. Thanks for sharing and letting us get to know you a little more. Wishing us all peace joy and maybe that special “lifer” in the new year.
Thanks, Jane. A lifer would be a great way to start the New Year.
Ah, Ron. I’ve saved this (open) all day long after reading the first sentence this morning. I’m glad I waited, and it was well worth it.
Christmas has no religious significance for me either. I was raised in the Unitarian church, which was wonderful in it’s teachings, and it’s really bright congregation, but I never really picked up on the religion thing. I try to treat others as I’d wish to be treated; I love this planet, and am far too aware of the damage we’ve done to her. I’m acutely aware of how fragile all life is, and I love wild things more than most of humanity. Unlike you, I don’t have many memories of Christmas; I have photographs of my brother, mother and dad at Christmas…but no feelings arise when I look at them. For me, Christmas is just another day, but it’s one in which I try even harder to take care of the wild birds I have in rehab and in my yard. I too go bird watching, taking my camera. It’s a solo activity, one that’s full of quiet, other than birdsong. I count myself lucky to be able to find wild places with no noise.
So I thank you for sharing a bit of your history. And I think you know how very grateful I am to know someone else who understands just how precarious things are with our planet and her inhabitants.
Here’s to 2020. May it be a better, kinder and more informed decade.
Take Care,
Leslie
I’m glad it was worth the wait, Leslie. Thank you.
Merry Christmas to all! I have been enjoying the religious Christmas music, having to stay home with bronchitis. And no birds as someone, I suspect the squirrels, stole my suet feeder! I will get out tomorrow to look for it so I can fill it again. I know if the squirrels ran off with it that it will be empty! But it has been a beautiful and quiet day which I have enjoyed. Everyone have a blessed New Year with lots of life lists birds in it!
Those pesky squirrels! Thanks, Beth Ann.
Merry Christmas to all!
Thanks, Dave.
Hi Ron,
I sure can relate about family memories being the best part of Christmas. As we get older less and less of those dear people are around for various reasons. But memories of them still bring a smile. I hope you enjoyed the day!
Yup, it’s sad that memories are about all we have left of them but at least we have the memories. Thanks Rick.
Late to the party, Ron, but I really enjoyed the post. When I was 4, my 6 year old brother showed me the corner of dad’s workshop where the presents were hidden. I remember feeling duped, but also realized as I got older just how long they must have saved to buy presents for all 5 kids. Hope your day was merry! I put slices of an over-ripe pear under the dogwood this morning, and was rewarded with a pair of Mockingbirds who seemed to enjoy every last bite! Simple pleasures, indeed! Thanks again-
I’m jealous of your simple pleasure, Diane. I was stuck home today because of dismal weather and the only bird I’ve seen all day is the one I put in the oven. But I’ll see that one again soon…
That was a lovely read. I too have a lot of fond memories. I’m a tad younger then you, so many years to reflect. It’s about family, and my pets for me. Wouldn’t trade them for the world. Have a wonderful holiday!
Jeanne
Ha, these days it seems like almost everyone is a “tad younger” than me! Thanks, Jean.
Oh Ron.
I am late to this post (sleep deprivation finally caught up with me).
Yes, yes and yes.
Money was tight growing up. Christmas was very low key. One major gift and a few trinkets. We had no extended family, so the family celebrations were also low key. But meaningful.
I loathe and detest the commercialisation of Christmas. And indeed of all holidays. Last year Hot Cross Buns had already hit the stores the week after Christmas.
A family tradition I value and continue is ‘giving back to the community’. Which is why sleep deprivation floored me last night. I spent some time volunteering on the crisis line on Christmas Eve. Christmas is emphatically NOT the happiest time of year for many people.
And was awoken very early on Christmas Day. Less than four hours sleep in a forty hour period left me more than usually braindead.
Moral and ethical in our interactions with people, critters and the good earth is the PERFECT expression of the season. A season which needs to cover the whole year.
Many, many thanks – and I hope your bird photography went well this morning.
I can only imagine the stress involved with your volunteer work, EC.
No bird photography for me this morning I’m afraid. Dreary weather and no light. Again.
I am sorry and hope that tomorrow is better. Our light is again smoke laden. And as I type the birds at the feeder are demanding sustenance. Which they will get.
And a very Merry Christmas to you Ron!. I’m late to your blog today because our Christmas morning now is being with my step-daughter and her husband watching out 8 year old granddaughter opening and enjoying her presents. I know what you mean about Christmas music droning on forever everywhere you go, which is why our shop has no music, just bird sounds in the background. It’s surprising how many customers thank us for this.
This Christmas is very special to me. With my leukemia fight last year, just 6 months ago, there was no certainty that I would be here to enjoy this Christmas. But with everyone’s support, I beat it and I’m here to enjoy family and life. Holding hands with Death makes one appreciate everything and everyone so much more. Things that wee once important are now trivial. Hopefully, more people will learn to love the world we live in and the people and critters that inhabit it. Seeing your blog each day is one of the things that helps bring a smile each day and that’s important. Thanks so much for all of your contributions and may the new year bring you joys and well-being.
“watching our 8 year old granddaughter opening and enjoying her presents”
Dan, I remember those joys as I watched Shannon doing the same thing as she was growing up.
I follow Barbara’s online updates about your progress. I know you still have some struggles but you’ve whipped the big bad guy (leukemia) and that makes me very happy.
What a wonderful post Ron! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas no matter how you celebrate, whether it be with fond memories or thoughts for the future it doesn’t matter. I hope 2020 is a better year for you ……
Hugs and best wishes Nelson BC!
I appreciate your good wishes, Shirley.
Thanks Ron, this is beautiful! Best wishes to you and yours…
Thanks, Susan.
Thank you Ron for your thoughts about being kind. Easy to do and costs nothing.
I’ll remember your post and of course your photos. Diana
Thank you, Diana.
Thank you for sharing your holiday memories with us & your gift of photography & teaching posts.
The HoliDays for me are Family & Friends… not shopping and gifts butt sharing the time together when we can.
Merry Christmas to YOU & ALL of YOURS… and to ALL who follow here.
With the wish of a Happy & Healthy New Year.
Thanks very much, CJ.
Thanks for the words.
You’re welcome, Richard.
Merry Christmas Ron. Thank you for sharing your story, it was a warm read. I try to enjoy parts I like about the holidays and ignore the rest. We are not a big family for religion either but we do enjoy family and friends. I was surprised by a good friend coming to town unexpectedly and will spend some time with her for a few days. It is a treat.
Haley was sharing some of her childhood memories last night with us that I did not know about. One being she would sneak down about 3am to look in her stocking to see if Santa had come. One year the stocking was not filled, she thought because she had peeked or been bad Santa had left her nothing. She went back upstairs and cried herself to sleep. Apparently I had to coax her out of bed that morning, she still felt sad and unwilling to see nothing left by Santa. She was happy to see he left gifts, but never sneaked down to peek again. Eric on the other had has been an old skeptic from an early age.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all of your blog family!
April, it sounds like Haley and I are two peas in a pod – especially the “never sneaked down to peek again” part. I know I sure learned my lesson!
Ron, I love your post. It brings back so many memories of Christmas when growing up. We were poor but my parents did their best to give us a gift for Christmas. I also had an experience with a cousin who I hardly knew breaking my doll that said ‘Mama’ when you laid it down. I haven’t thought about that for a long time but when I do, it still makes me mad. Daddy would hide our gifts in the barn and somehow Santa appeared on Christmas Eve on the front porch with our gifts. Sorry to ramble, but thanks for the memories. We have a few inches of snow in the Benches and it is beautiful. Thank you, Ron
I enjoyed your “ramble” very much, Alice.
Have a warm and cozying day my old friend with similar Montana roots. And by the way, my best Christmas present at about the same age was a Lone Ranger outfit with cowboy hat, cap pistol and chaps too!!! Great minds right Ron😉….
I’m jealous of your chaps, Gail! If I remember correctly my outfit came without them. But I was lucky. On those rare occasions when I tired of being the Lone Ranger I found a goose feather I could use to become Tonto. I enjoyed the hell out of both roles. I used to love saying “Kemo Sabe”…
What a lovely post! 😊
The music is awful and the fact that both Christmas trees and Halloween costumes are out at the same time in some places drives me nuts… the commercialization, blech… we give the kids gifts now, nothing to each other! Although my mother is going through and getting rid of things, so she has my sister and I alternately choose items (some of which neither of us wanted last night and piled onto the 4 year old who was excited!) I agree that the message of Christmas should be kindness not stuff… thanks for the lovely post, happy xmas from California
“the message of Christmas should be kindness not stuff”
Agreed, Nicky – especially among adults but with kids too. Thank you.
I was just sitting here feeling sad because Christmas isn’t the same. This made me smile. Better? It made me remember what the holidays are really for. Merry merry. Bright bright. Blessings
That was one of the results of this post I was hoping for, Arwen. Thank you.
I would like to wish you all warm hearts that feel and send good will to the world ~ to one another as humans, to the birds and the beasts, the plants and waters, the winds and rocks. We are all in this together. My thanks to you, Ron, for creating this spot in cyberspace where we gather..
“We are all in this together”
That’s right, Martha. We’re all on the same ship so we’ll sink or swim together.
I love you Ron! I didn’t know that story about mom breaking your fire truck. Oh boy! What a Christmas gift your memories are to me especially with mom and grandma and grandpa gone. I can picture you and grandpa in the shop and grandma coming in to bother with a picture. We had the marble game growing up and adored it then what a treat when grandpa made one for my kids. So many incredible memories.
I was so mad at her! My excuse is that I was only 5 years old. I sure wish she was still around, in part so I could pull her chain about breaking my fire truck. I miss her.
But she was so adorable at that age even I had a difficult time being angry for long…
Thanks for the heartfelt post 😁
Enjoy your day ❗️
Thank you, Diana.
Many of your followers are in sync with your take on Christmas, including me. Bob and I will be leaving to photograph a bit later than we should, but the clouds have moved away from the sun, so it’s time.
Merry Christmas, Happy (belated) Solstice, or whatever!
Loved your memories and photos.
Thank you, Nancy. Good luck out there this morning.
A very Merry Christmas to you Ron! And wishing the same to your readers…over time I feel as if I know them as friends also and anxiously wait to see their responses. Thank you for sharing your thoughts not only today but all year long. My sentiments of this day have changed much over the years mimicing much of yours and those of your other readers. I am so fortunate that our three children live close to us so we’ve always celebrated Christmas Eve together and they spend the Day with their other families. With our first grandchild Alexander being one, last evening was extra special seeing the excitement through his eyes. It is what Christmas is supposed to be…family, love, traditions, sharing and for that I am ever grateful.
You said it all very well, Kathy. Have a wonderful holiday season.
Outstanding message Ron. We celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ and definitely in a religious sense, but we like you have become so turned off by the commercialization. I always wonder what it all looks like to those not of the Christian faith. I was born in 1938 and just like the kid in the famous Christmas movie I did get a Red Ryder BB gun one year for Christmas. A few years later though my dad broke it when the police called him to come to the station to pick me up because I had been caught with a friend shooting our BB guns at neighbors trash cans. And like you, with 4 younger brothers and being a blue-collar family every dime counted. To us Christmas is about friends and family and helping others. Just a light dusting of snow so far this morning, but wet and cold enough to keep me from heading out to look for bird opportunities. Merry Christmas to you and your family and thanks for all the great photos and education this past year.
Ha, I had one of those Red Ryder BB guns too, Everett. And it may have been a Christmas present though I can’t remember for sure. We lived on the farm so I couldn’t get into the kind of trouble you did with yours but if I’d lived in town at the time it likely would have been a different story…
Whether one attaches religious significance to this season or not, the theme running through your wonderful post unlocks the secret of celebration. Actions, not symbols, are what matter in our lives.
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts, Ron.
Now, if we can just translate your revelation to each day of the year, sans blaring commercialized muzak, we can save civilization!
I heartily agree with your last sentence, Wally! Thank you.
Thank you for the beautiful memories, Ron! Merry Christmas to you in Utah. Though geography may separate us on this holiday morning, I am with you in spirit. Much love!
Shelley
Family is everything and you’re part of mine, Shelley. Merry Christmas.
From another “secularist” at at the most shoppingest time of the year, you preach a darn good sermon. Heartfelt and nostalgic and about the best present I can think of to receive this year. Thanks, Santa…I mean Ron.
“you preach a darn good sermon”
Two back to back guffaws thanks to you and Judy. Thanks for that excellent Christmas present, Lyle.
YES! Merry Christmas and Thx for sharing that. Many smiles from me at your memories which are very similar to many of mine including the “hunt” for hidden Christmas presents, finding them finally and then thinking “oh shit” tho that word wasn’t in my vocabulary then, and the stocking stuffers/clothes/ and “the big one”…… 🙂 Also a younger sibling “breaking” something… 🙂 We did have church Christmas Eve – “early” service for kids and, when I was older Midnight Mass (Episcopalian) in the choir IF I could stay awake that long. Church aspect is long gone from my life. Like you I HATE the commercialization that comes ever earlier and is more intense. 🙁 Christmas for you is pretty much what it is for Joe & I and will be quiet with just the 2 of us this year. Pretty much “walk the talk” these days…. 🙂 Clear/cold/white (sort of after a day or so of heavy fog – unusual for us) and a beautiful starry ski this quiet Christmas morn!
“and then thinking “oh shit” tho that word wasn’t in my vocabulary then”
That brought my first guffaw of the morning, Judy!
When I was growing up church (Mormon – the Dudleys were early Mormon pioneers to Utah in 1851) was also part of my life. That changed permanently by my late teens.
The more I know about you and Joe the more I realize how much we share.
We have light snow this morning, not very cold though.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful holiday memories with us today and your precious gift of photography and teaching every day. 🙂
Thank you, Marty.
“For me Christmas is all about family, dear friends, good will toward others and it’s a reminder to be moral and ethical in our interactions with people, critters and the good earth.”
Not Grinchy at all and should be widely circulated.
SW
Glad to hear you feel that way, Sebastion. Thank you.
Exactly my sentiments as well, along with memories and traditions!
Happy holidays, health and kindness for the new year to you all too.
Thank you, Dominique.